


Two of a Kind

by Mikleohno



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Butt Plugs, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Roleplay, Self-Denial, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-07-12 22:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16004285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikleohno/pseuds/Mikleohno
Summary: “Hypothetically. I would do that for you. We’re close, and I don’t think it would affect our friendship.”“Are you sure?” said Sorey.“We’re speaking in hypotheticals, Sorey.”“Are we?”Friends with Benefits AU





	1. Chapter 1

Mikleo wrinkled his nose at the sound of the door chime. The sound meant a customer entered the bookstore, disturbing his peace. They were likely to hem and haw before settling on a decision, or badger him with inane questions, keeping him past the now-imminent closing time. He slunk behind the register to fuss on his cell phone, hoping the invader would leave without a word. He had plans to consummate, after all.

No such luck.

“Excuse me,” said the man.

“How can I help you,” mumbled Mikleo without looking up.

“I know it's late, I won't keep you. But I'm looking for a particular book.” He paused. “It's a first edition of the Celestial Record.”

“Row F, along the back wall,” said Mikleo, quick enough to be nearly an interruption.

The man chuckled. “No,” he said, softer yet. “This copy has handwritten notes in the margins, from two young men full of theories and wild dreams.”

Mikleo quirked an eyebrow. He looked up slowly, his face quickly turning to surprise.

The young man looking back at him had a kind, genuine smile. His soft, messy chestnut hair framed his tan face, blessed with green eyes so vibrant you'd swear they were contacts.

Mikleo’s jaw fell slack. He knelt behind the counter briefly to reach into his own personal book bag, rummaging for a moment before pulling out a tattered, first edition of the Celestial Record.

“Is this what you're looking for?”

“Yeah,” said the man, searching Mikleo’s face curiously. “I found you.”

Mikleo chuckled. “I'm not the one that left, Sorey.”

Sorey grinned brighter. “My mom’s work needed her in Elysia. So, I'm back.”

“You've got some nerve, showing up after so many years,” said Mikleo. He closed his eyes and shook his head, unable to quell the growing smile on his face. “Welcome back.”

“It’s good to see you.” He paused. “Me and my mom just got moved in, it's a townhouse real close to my old one. I stopped by your place as soon as I could,” said Sorey. “Your uncle told me where to find you. I'm glad I caught you before closing.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Sorry. I thought you were a last minute pain in the ass customer.” Mikleo hit a few buttons on the register to shut it down. “I've actually got plans tonight,” he said quietly, fiddling with the bracelet on his left wrist. “An appointment. For an anniversary of sorts.”

Mikleo caught Sorey glancing at his bracelet, likely taking in the bright, rainbow design.

“Then we can hang out another time and catch up,” said Sorey.

“Actually,” Mikleo paused. It had been six or seven years since he had last seen Sorey. He had no idea what manner of man he had become, what beliefs and prejudices he may hold. Back then they didn’t worry about the birds and the bees. The Sorey he remembered was a kind, thoughtful boy that albeit stubborn, had a strong moral compass and compassion to spare. He debated internally for another moment before speaking again.

“I wouldn't mind the company.”

“Oh?” said Sorey. “Really?”

“Yeah,” said Mikleo. “It would be nice to catch up with you.”

Sorey smiled. “I'd love to go with you.” He paused, scratching his head. “But wouldn't that be imposing on you and your, uh, boyfriend?”

Mikleo slung his book bag over his shoulder. “What boyfriend?”

“Oh! Uh,” stammered Sorey, pushing his pointer fingers together. “I just assumed when you said anniversary, I mean, I didn't think you would be single.”

Mikleo processed his statement for a moment. It seemed Sorey understood the bracelet’s meaning after all. Mikleo had jitters of his own, trying not to make a fool of himself in front of someone that had once been so fundamentally important to him. Sorey was trying. And he was cute.

He settled for quirking a judgmental eyebrow.

“I was going to catch an Uber there,” he said.

“I have a car,” said Sorey. “I can drive. I mean, that is if you're okay with getting in a car with a total stranger.”

“I spent the best years of my life with you,” said Mikleo softly. “You're no stranger.”

Sorey grinned. He held out his fist.

Mikleo looked at Sorey’s outstretched wrist incredulously for a moment before pressing his own against it. Their private handshake, a symbol of their childhood bond, proof that the man before him couldn't be anyone but Sorey.

His bright, charming demeanor made spending time with him sound like the most fulfilling idea in the world. And he could really use a friend like Sorey in his life.

“Okay!” Sorey paused. “So, uhm, where are we going, anyway?”

“Tattoo parlor,” said Mikleo, hiding a blush. “It's not far. I'll navigate you.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


 

Mikleo flopped on his bed, grabbing his cell and fired off a few text messages in rapid succession.

“ROSE”

“Jfgjfzbhzffz”

Within moments, Rose responded.

“-_-”

“What”

Mikleo attached two pictures to the conversation. The first was of his new tattoo, a semi colon on the inside of his wrist taken in low light. The second was of Mikleo cheek to cheek with a cute brunet.

“New tat looks real good,” came the response. “Who’s the hottie?”

“Did I ever tell you about Sorey?” texted Mikleo.

“Your old neighbor? Only like a hundred times,” Rose responded. “Is that him?”

“His mom moved back. He’s going to college here.”

“You guys look so happy!” texted Rose. “Is he finishing high school with you too?”

“Nah, he’s going to do some kind of online homeschool classes.” Mikleo rolled over on his bed, opening the picture of himself and Sorey again, setting it as his phone wallpaper. They both did look happy. It was pleasant, in a strange foreign way that shouldn't have been.

“Oh cool,” texted Rose. “Is he single?”

“ROSE,” texted Mikleo.

“Did you guys make out?”

“ROSE,” he responded, “He grew up in a conservative household.” He wrinkled his nose. “There’s no way he would ever.”

“So did you,” responded Rose. “Look how you turned out.”

Mikleo grumbled. “He’s straight. He mentioned having ex-girlfriends.”

“You’ve got ex-girlfriends too,” texted Rose.

“You’re not helping.”

“Just giving you a little hope,” texted Rose. “You guys look really happy.”

“I have to sleep,” he texted. “Thanks for being there for me.”

“Anytime,” was her response. “Good night. Ilu”

“Love you too,” he texted. “Sleep well.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay so don’t freak out, okay?”

“Don’t freak... what aren’t you telling me?”

Sorey placed a small silver key in Mikleo’s pale hand.

“There’s a few things we noticed in the walkthrough this morning,” said Sorey. “Nothing big, we can handle it all.”

Mikleo made a face that conveyed his annoyance. He narrowed his rare, violet eyes. “What kind of... things.”

Sorey grinned. “It’s on the second floor. Number 206. Go on ahead, I’ll bring up the rest of your boxes.”

Mikleo’s displeased face peaked with a frown before he turned and jogged up the stairs, a box in his arms. Sorey grabbed the last of the large boxes from the trunk of his car, stacked them atop each other and followed.

He watched as Mikleo reached the apartment door, set down the box and reached back in his pocket. He looked down at the key in his hand. Sorey understood it was a promise of freedom, a first step in a new life away from his unsupportive family. Mikleo raised the key to the door, unlocking it and stepping inside.

He reached to the side finding the switch on the wall that controlled the entry light and flipped it. Nothing happened.

“Sorey.”

Sorey didn’t respond, instead picking up each box in succession and bringing them inside the apartment.

“Sorey,” he repeated more urgently,

“Welcome home,” said Sorey. “I already talked to the power company,” he reached in his pocket for a flashlight-like device. He turned it on and set it on the countertop. It lit the room as a makeshift lantern. “The power will be on tomorrow afternoon at the latest.”

“So we’re supposed to unpack in the dark. We’re supposed to sleep here, tonight, Sorey.”

“It’s fine! We can make it work.”

Mikleo grumbled. “I suppose that’s not all that bad, _if_ that _is_ what I’m not supposed to freak out about.”

“Uhh...” Sorey scratched the back of his head. Mikleo quirked an eyebrow, grabbed the lantern and began inspecting the rooms.

The front room was a small but functional living room area with an attached kitchen. There was a small hallway with a bathroom, and a single bedroom, which they knew they would be sharing.

“Sorey.”

“Yeah?” called Sorey sheepishly from the living room.

“There’s one bed.”

Sorey came into the bedroom and leaned against the doorway. Mikleo was searching under the bed to see if perhaps there was a second roll out bed underneath.

“This is not what we signed up for,” he said with a panicked voice. “Did you talk to the front office? Tell them they put us in the wrong unit?”

“Mikleo.”

“It’s just a simple mistake, and they’ll put us in the right room, or bring another bed,” he said.

“Mikleo.”

“We can stay here one night. Or I can just... go back to my uncle’s.” His breathing began to become labored.

“Mikleo.”

Mikleo turned, the weariness in his pale face visible in the low light.

“There is no other apartment. There is no other bed. This is it.”

“Why... but...” he backed up into the bed, his knees buckling under himself as he sat.

“Look, there was a mistake on our lease when we signed. We were on a waiting list for five months to get in here.” He paused. “This is it,” he repeated more quietly. “The only furnished apartment walking distance of school, within our budget. They’re full up from freshmen like us, and there’s no more beds.” He smiled, sitting beside Mikleo on the bed. “I can just get a futon or-”

“No,” interrupted Mikleo. “This is my fault. I’ll sleep on the couch. Or the floor.”

Sorey laughed. “No, it’s no one’s fault. They just gave us the wrong paperwork. We both didn’t catch it. Look, we’ll make it work, okay?”

“This is a disaster,” said Mikleo quietly. “I rushed it and-”  


“No,” interrupted Sorey. “It’s an adventure. And we’ll make it work, I promise.”

Mikleo heaved a sigh. “Okay. Okay. I trust you.”

“So let’s get to unpacking your stuff?”

“...Yeah.”

  


 

* * *

 

  
  


“Good thing this place is furnished. That was really quick.”

“Yeah, I guess I don’t own much besides clothes and books.” Mikleo collapsed on the couch. “I’ve never been on my own before.”

“It’s exciting, isn’t it?”

“I suppose it is.” Mikleo let his lips curl into a small smile. He ruffled his silvery white hair, tousling the locks of his bangs before leaning back.

“Your first class is tomorrow at ten, right?”

“Yeah,” said Mikleo, stretching out. “No power, no internet... what do you want to do until then?”

“Wish we had some board games,” said Sorey.

“Yeah,” responded Mikleo. “But even in this light it would be hard to see. And I have to conserve my phone battery.”

“And reading is out.” Sorey rifled through the mostly empty cabinets in the kitchen. “I do have this.”

He returned to the couch, setting a bag of chips and a bottle of whiskey on the coffee table.

Mikleo took a double take at Sorey, the items, then Sorey again.

“We could play truth or dare,” said Sorey.

Mikleo sat up. “What, like we’re fourteen again?”

“I never got to be fourteen with you. We have some making up to do.”

“Fair. I’ll give it a try. Except,” he said, “We’ll play truth or truth.”

“Okay,” said Sorey, retrieving two cups. “And we drink.” He poured out a small amount of warm whiskey into the glasses.

“To us,” said Mikleo, raising his glass. “On finally being on our own.”

“To us,” said Sorey, raising his glass, then taking a swig. He made a sour face and coughed. Mikleo laughed as Sorey recovered, smiling.

“You start, you’re younger,” said Mikleo, opening the bag of chips. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth,” said Sorey.

“Alright. Hmm. Tell me an awkward memory.”

Sorey pondered for a moment. “I walked into a glass door the other day.”

Mikleo snorted.

“What about you? Truth or truth?” asked Sorey.

“Truth.”

“Tell me something awkward you did.”

Mikleo placed his hand over his mouth, his brows furrowed in thought.  “The other day at work, I thought a lady was asking for a book on worms and peaches.”

“What was she really asking for?”

“War and Peace.”

Sorey snorted a chuckle and took a sip of his drink.

“I made her repeat herself four times. I felt like an idiot, I should have been able to figure it out.” Mikleo took a sip of his own whiskey. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“Have you ever stolen anything?”

“Me? Never. I can’t stand the idea. Truth or truth, how about you?”

“Nothing. Not even a candy bar.”

“No rebellious teenage years?”

“You’re seeing them right now,” Mikleo smirked, taking another sip. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“Do you have any deep, dark secrets?”

Sorey tapped his chin. “I mean, not really. I’m a pretty open book. Besides,” he smiled. “I don’t keep secrets from you. But I’ll let you know if I think of something.”

Mikleo hummed, not quite convinced, but in acceptance of Sorey’s answer.

“Truth or truth,” continued Sorey, “What about you? Any dark secrets I should know about?”

Mikleo looked at Sorey. He pursed his lips and nodded slowly, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“Nothing bad, I’m not a psychopath or anything,” he said quietly. “But I’m not ready to talk about it just yet.” He looked up, smiling. “I promise, you’ll be the first person I tell.”

Sorey tapped his chin. “I guess that’s an acceptable answer. I didn’t ask what the secret was, after all.”

“No, you didn’t.” Mikleo set down his empty cup. “Refill, please.”

Sorey obliged, topping both Mikleo and his own drink.

“Truth or truth?” asked Mikleo.

“Truth.”

“Are you getting drunk?”

Sorey smiled, the apples of his cheeks warm. “A little, yeah. What about you?”

“Is that my question?”

“I guess so.”

“I’m feeling it,” said Mikleo. He smiled widely. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth,” said Sorey.

“Are you scared about starting college?”

Sorey smiled. “Anything new is a little scary at first. But I’m more excited than anything.” He leaned back on the couch, stretching his arms behind his head. “I hope we can both do well.” He cleared his throat. “How about you, truth or truth, are you scared?”

Mikleo looked away. “I’ve always been a good student, but I hear it can get really difficult. And I didn’t sign up for especially easy classes.”

“You’ll do great,” said Sorey. “You’ve always been determined. It’s something I admire about you.”

Mikleo blushed. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“What’s... the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?”

Sorey leaned back, his hands behind his head again. “A goldfish.”

“A goldfish?” asked Mikleo incredulously.

“Yeah,” chuckled Sorey. “It was for a talent show skit. I wasn't supposed to swallow it, but it just... slipped down there.”

He looked up to see Mikleo’s horrified face.

“What?” he said, laughing.

“I can't believe you _vored a whole animal_.”

Sorey’s laughter escalated to wheezing and snorting. His laughter was contagious, Mikleo’s false concern melted into giggles and laughter as well.

Sorey smiled. “Alright, alright. Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“Are you happy?”

Mikleo pondered for a moment. “I’m finally out of my Uncle’s house, going to college with my best friend. I’d say yes, I’m-” He paused. “I haven’t been this happy in years. Yes.”

Sorey smiled. “Good. I’m glad.”

Mikleo paused for a moment before continuing the game. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“Do you have any deep, dark fears?” he asked.

Sorey pondered for a moment. “I think the thing I’m the most scared of is losing the people I care about the most,” he said. “It was really hard, having to move away the first time. I never want to do it again.” Sorey leaned forward and grabbed a chip. “What about you? Truth or truth, what are you scared of?”

Mikleo raised his brows. “Well I was _going_ to say deep water and swimming, but your fear is way better.”

Sorey punched Mikleo gently. Mikleo returned the punch, and took a sip of his whiskey.

“You’re still scared of swimming?”

Mikleo scratched the back of his head. “Yeah.”

Sorey nodded.

“Truth or truth,” continued Mikleo, “Describe your perfect date.”

Sorey took a moment to ponder his answer. “Well,” he said, “First I’d pick them up, then we’d go somewhere nice, like a dinner together. And we might do something romantic like watch the stars. You know, they say there are as many emotions as there are stars in the sky.”

“Sounds sappy,” said Mikleo.

“Truth or truth, what’s your perfect date?”

“Dinner or a nice meal sounds good,” said Mikleo. “And he would smell nice. And hold me close. It doesn’t really matter where we go, as long as he’s attentive and kind.” He pursed his lip. “But I’d love to go to a museum. Like, a special exhibit or something.”

“That reminds me, the museum does have an ancient artifacts event coming up.”

“Oh?” said Mikleo, sitting up. He grabbed another handful of chips, setting his emptied glass on the coffee table. “I’m definitely interested.”

“Me too,” said Sorey. “I’ll find out more details tomorrow.”

“Sounds good,” said Mikleo. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“What kind of person is your type?”

“Oh,” said Sorey. “Like, what am I attracted to?”

“Yeah.”

“Someone kind,” he began. “Someone with an honest heart and a sweet, simple soul.”

Mikleo snorted.

“What?” said Sorey. “Too sappy again?”

“I meant like, big boobs, blonde hair, that kind of thing.”

“I don’t really care about that,” said Sorey quietly. “Personality is a lot more important. That other stuff fades in time.” Sorey finished his drink, setting it on the table beside Mikleo’s. “Truth or truth, what about you?”

“My type?” asked Mikleo. “He would have to be interested in reading and history so we could share stories with each other,” he began. “He would hold me for hours, both of us not needing to say a word, but we would know exactly how the other feels. And he has to have beautiful eyes, so I can get lost just... staring into them.” Mikleo leaned backwards on the couch against the arm, his head hanging off the edge. “He would write me poems. Even if they were bad, I would still love them.” He raised his hand in front of his face, twirling his finger in the air as though he was going to continue, but instead sat back up.

“Are you going to ask me another question?” asked Sorey.

“Yeah,” said Mikleo. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“What turns you on?”

Sorey bit his lip.

“Shy?” asked Mikleo.

“I mean,” started Sorey. “I don’t just look at someone and get turned on.”

“Okay, what kinds of things turn you on?”

There was a silence before Sorey answered. “Good personality,” he began. “Gentleness. Soft, kind touches.”

“Yeah,” said Mikleo. “That sounds nice.”

“Truth or truth,” said Sorey, “What uh, turns you on?”

“Strong forearms and jawlines,” said Mikleo. “Beautiful eyes. Hard abs. Soft lips. Being wanted. You’re making me feel like I’m superficial.”

“I thought I was just answering poorly,” said Sorey.

“Then I got one you can’t answer like that,” said Mikleo. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth,” said Sorey.

“What’s your deepest fantasy?”

Silence.

“I can’t answer that,” said Sorey.

“It’s truth or truth,” said Mikleo. “You have to answer.”

More silence. “Can’t I just drink more instead?”

“Answer the question.”

“But it’s... embarrassing.”

“That’s the point.”

“Okay, okay, just... don’t judge me, alright?”

Mikleo snorted. “Depends what it is.”

Sorey made a whining sound before sighing deeply and letting his head hang.

“It’s... roleplay.”

“Oh? Are there costumes involved?”

“Yeah. I... This is really embarrassing, do I have to?”

“You know the rules.”

Another whine. “Yeah. Okay, fine. In my fantasy, they... dress up like a cat.”

“A cat?”

“Yeah. With cute little cat ears and a tail. But in the fantasy... they’re wild, and I, I have to tame them.”

Mikleo snorted and began laughing. Sorey nervously joined him.

“And what, then you have your way with them?”

“Yeah.”

Another laugh from Mikleo. “Sounds delightfully depraved.”

Sorey gently punched Mikleo’s arm. “Truth or truth, what about you?”

Mikleo scoffed. “My deepest fantasy?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure you want to hear it.”

“You heard mine!”

Mikleo leaned back. “Compared to yours, it’s mild. I want...” he paused. “I want to be pampered. To lay back and have them do everything for me. Rub my feet, massage my back, and rim me for hours. To be wanted, and loved on.”

“That sounds nice.”

“You... don’t know what rimming is, do you?”

“I guess I don’t. What is it?”

“You’re going to have to search the internet for that one.”

“Okay, but the rest,” Sorey paused. “That’s just basic relationship stuff. How can that be your fantasy?”

Mikleo frowned. “Whatever. Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Sorey huffed a laugh. “Sure. I’ve had a few girlfriends, you know. Truth or truth, how about you?”

Mikleo averted his eyes. “Yeah.”

“You have? What was his name?”

“Her. And it’s not important.”

Sorey nodded slowly.

“It was before I came out. I was just trying to be normal, like everyone else, and...” Mikleo clutched his arm. “Turns out I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m glad you figured it out. You’re happier now, right?”

“Yeah. I just, there’s always going to be differences. I’m always going to feel like I don’t fit in. Sometimes I feel like I’m just invisible.”

“You’re not that different. Besides, the world’s changing.”

“Not fast enough.” He paused. “Truth or truth?”

“Truth.”

“Are you a virgin?” asked Mikleo.

“Am I a what?”

“Well?”

“I’m...” Sorey seemed to look away in the dark. “Yeah. I am.”

“Oh.” Mikleo paused. “Somehow, I didn’t expect that.”

“Are you?”

“Is that my truth or truth question?” asked Mikleo.

“Yeah,” said Sorey.

“I should have expected that too.” Mikleo pinched the bridge of his nose. “No.”

The air hung silently between them, Sorey expectantly awaiting Mikleo to continue. Eventually, he did.

“Technically. I- I didn’t finish, and we- it was a disaster.” Mikleo sighed. “I’m thankful, in a way. It helped me decide once and for all that women are just not for me.”

Sorey hummed. He stood and left the room briefly, returning with a blanket in hand. Mikleo watched as Sorey returned to the couch beside him. He draped the blanket around Mikleo’s back, and began rubbing slow circles with his palm.

“Sorry for asking you stressful questions.”

“You’re only asking what I asked you,” said Mikleo tiredly.

Sorey huffed a laugh. “I guess you’re right. But still, I don’t mean to make you think about things you don’t want to.”

“It’s fine,” said Mikleo. “Sorry if I come off cranky. I didn’t exactly sleep well last night with all the packing, work sucked, then this.” He waved his hand in front of him to indicate the lack of electricity.

“You’ve had a long day,” said Sorey. “You deserve to relax.”

“I am relaxed,” said Mikleo.

“You’re super tense,” said Sorey. “Here.” He pressed his palm below Mikleo’s left shoulder blade. Mikleo shrugged forward in response. “And here.” He moved his palm to the right, earning the same reaction.

“Maybe a little,” whimpered Mikleo.

“You have class at ten?” said Sorey, continuing the massage.

“Yeah. Then work afterwards.”

“My first class is at two.”

Mikleo made a sound halfway between a hum, and a soft grunt.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night, then.”

Another soft sound.

“Unless we can meet real quick for lunch?”

Mikleo leaned forward slightly.

“Do you think you’ll have time?” A pause. “Mikleo?”

Mikleo snored softly.

“Did you fall asleep? ... Okay. Let’s get you to bed.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Mikleo awoke the next morning to the sun shining through the cheap apartment blinds, and the sound of his phone alarm. He rolled over in the bed-

Bed?

He sat straight up to see he was in fact, in bed, with no recollection of how he got there. He pondered for a moment before hearing the telltale rhythmic sound of someone breathing deeply in sleep beside him.

 _Don’t freak out_ , he thought. _There must be an explanation_.

He picked up his phone to see that in fact, he did have a message notification from late last night.

“Hope you slept well! [Sunshine emoji] You passed out on the couch so I brought you to bed. You must have been worn out! The bed is really big, I hope it’s okay that I slept on it too. Remember when we used to have sleepovers before I moved away? We can pick up where we left off! I’m really excited about living with you. I’ll see you later, text me if you can grab lunch!”

He glanced over at Sorey on the right side of the bed, the blanket pulled over his shoulder, the top of his wild brown hair poking out. He sighed, reflecting on how thankful he was to have been blessed with such a great friend, got up, and began getting ready for his first day of college.


	3. Chapter 3

Mikleo sat at the dining table, his pointer finger on his forehead, thumb on his cheek, eyes intensely narrowed. He looked up to see Sorey sitting across from him with a similar expression.

It had been two weeks since they moved in together. They had stocked their shelves with board games, trivia and cards, finding that electronic entertainment was too impersonal between them. It was a throwback to their youth, a remnant from who they were as children, innocent yet shrewd and competitive. Mikleo pulled his hand away from his face, stretched his delicate fingers forward and plucked a wooden tile from the plank in front of him.

“Pink,” he said, placing four of the small tiles with letters on them on the board between them. “P I N K. Twenty two points.” He reached for four new letters in the pouch beside them, and set them on the wooden stand, safely out of Sorey’s view.

Sorey nodded slowly, picking up a letter and setting it back down. After a few moments, he put down his word.

“Swollen,” he said. “Using your N. That’s eighteen points.”

Mikleo’s lip twitched a smile. “Pink swollen?”

“Seven letters long,” said Sorey.

“Longer is not always better,” said Mikleo.

Sorey quirked an eyebrow, rearranging the new letters on his wooden stand.

“Yes,” said Mikleo. “Using Pink to spell Pinky with the Y, that’s... forty eight points.”

“What?” said Sorey. “How did you get so many points with so few letters?

“I’m just that good,” said Mikleo. “Triple word score. Twice.”

“You’re cutthroat,” said Sorey.

Mikleo hummed dismissively, smiling to himself.

Sorey pursed his lip. His eyes lit up as he started putting letters on the board, emptying out his wooden stand.

“Sausages.  Using your S from Yes.”

“That’s twenty four points, plus your fifty point bingo bonus for... seventy four points. Well played.”

“Why thank you,” said Sorey, rearranging his new letters. “I believe I’m winning by a considerable margin.”

“Not for long,” said Mikleo. “Erotic,” he continued. “Using the E to turn Yes into Eyes. Forty two points.”

“This is quite the board,” said Sorey, scratching his chin.

“Distracted?”

“Is that your goal?”

“Winning is my goal.”

“Then you’ve got quite a challenge ahead of you,” said Sorey. “Spasm. Using the P from Pinky and S from Sausage.”

“Eighteen points,” said Mikleo. He set three letters on the board.

“Come,” he said, deliberately biting his lip on the M. “Using the C from Erotic. Thirty three points.”

“That was my spot,” said Sorey.

“I had to block you,” said Mikleo.

“Ruthless.”

“Idiot,” said Sorey.

“Ouch, harsh,” said Mikleo.

“No, I mean, my word.” He set the letters on the board. “Using the S, W and O from swollen to spell Is, Ow, and To, which you’ll find are all in the game dictionary. And Idiot is on a triple word score, thank you very much.”

“Sixty six points,” grumbled Mikleo. “I think I’m more upset that the word doesn’t follow the theme.”

Mikleo then set two letters on the board. “Blow.” He let his tongue linger in his mouth on the L. “Using your Ow.”

“Twelve points,” said Sorey. “Are you trying?”

“To fit the theme, or to win? And this is the calm before the storm, just you wait.”

Sorey narrowed his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I can do both,” he said, laying out his letters on the board. “Sensual. Turning your spasm into spasms.”

“Plus your bingo bonus... seventy two points. And that was going to be my spot. Damn. Well played.”

Sorey chuckled. “Better luck next time.”

Mikleo pursed his lip. “Slowly. Turning your idiot into idiots, and using the L from swollen.”

“Thirty six points, not bad,” said Sorey. “But you have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Shut up.”

Sorey smiled. “Dirty,” he said, laying the letters on the board. “Like your mind. Using the Y from slowly-”

“Sorry, like my what? These are just words, Sorey, it’s not my fault if you see other meaning behind them.”

“Really? You called it a theme yourself. Don’t act dumb.”

“ _You_ don’t act dumb.”

“Sixteen points,” he said. “And worth it, for that reaction.”

“Shut up.” Mikleo began grinning wildly. “Oh. Here we go.” He set out his letters. “Swallows. Using the S from sausage and the blank tile for the second W.” He sat back grinning. “By my count that’s seventy four points.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Sorey. “Let’s see here.”

“Stumped?” asked Mikleo.

“No,” said Sorey.

“Is it too _hard_ to continue?”

“Shut _up_ ,” said Sorey. “I’m trying to think.” Finally he laid out his letters. “Tickle, using the I in Idiot.”

“Sixteen points.”

Mikleo looked down at the board. “Aroused,” he said, lifting and placing each letter slowly and deliberately with his slim fingertips. “Using the D from Idiots and spelling Te with your T from Tickle. And before you ask, yes, that’s in the game dictionary.”

“Twenty eight points,” grumbled Sorey. “But, you opened up the left side triple letter spots. And that’s a mistake for you. Passion,” he said, “Using your A from Aroused. Fifty one points.”

“I see,” said Mikleo through his teeth. “To block you from the other triple, Prod, for forty two points.”

“Not bad.” Sorey paused. “Try this on for size. Entwine. Using Erotic and Come to spell No and Em. Both in the dictionary.”

“Forty three points,” said Mikleo. “Penis. Plain and simple. Using the P from Prod. Triple word. Thirty six points.”

“Good block,” said Sorey. “But this game’s not even ‘close,’” said Sorey, putting his tiles down. “Using Entwines to spell Es and Ne. And Close is on the triple word.”

“Sixty two points,” said Mikleo. “Okay. Been saving this one.” He set down some tiles. “Buzz. Using the B from Blow and the second blank as a Z.”

“Z on a double letter tile, I like it. Thirty three points.”

“And I have three letters left,” said Mikleo. “Get cracking.”

“Fun,” said Sorey after a moment of pondering, “Using the U in aroused.”

“Five points. What, are you slowing down?”

Sorey grimaced. “I didn’t see anything better.”

“Nude,” said Mikeo. “Spelling Entwined with the D. That’s forty seven points.” Mikleo began tallying up the scores. “Alright, let’s see who won. You have... four hundred and forty one points.”

“Beat that,” said Sorey.

“And I have... four hundred and forty two.”

“What? How’s that possible?”

“Minus your unused letters,” he said, reaching over the board and flipping Sorey’s tiles flat onto the table. “Oh, you have the Q. Bad boy. Subtracting another fourteen points... that puts you at four hundred twenty seven.” Mikleo grinned wildly. “I finished first. Which, although is not my style, won me this game.”

Sorey scowled. “Good game.” He reached out his hand to shake.

“Good game.” Mikleo shook his hand, mimicking Sorey’s scowl.

Sorey tapped the button on the side of his phone, bringing up the time. “It’s still early, want to watch some tv?”

“Sure,” said Mikleo. “I recorded a documentary on ancient Greece earlier.”

“Sounds good,” said Sorey. “Want some cock- er- popcorn?”

Mikleo sputtered a laugh. “Really.”

Sorey’s face turned bright red. “After that game, can you blame me?”

“I’ll have some popcorn, sure,” said Mikleo, plopping down on the couch.

Within a few minutes Sorey was seated by him, both of them grabbing for the quickly emptying bag of popcorn split between them. The narrator droned about statues of Demeter and her daughter Persephone.

“Hm,” said Sorey.

“What’s up?” asked Mikleo.

“Sorry, I was thinking out loud,” said Sorey. “Ignore me.”

The announcer continued on, discussing the worship of fertility deities in agriculture. Mikleo did his best to pay attention, but was distracted by the strange faces Sorey was making.

“No, you have something on your mind,” said Mikleo. “I can tell. Spit it out.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” said Mikleo.

“It’s really dumb and probably offensive,” said Sorey.

“Try me,” said Mikleo.

Sorey pursed his lips and leaned his head back into the couch.

“Do blowjobs feel good?”

Mikleo snorted.

“Never mind. Just-” He squinted his already closed eyes. “Pretend I never said that.”

The television droned in the silence between them.

“They do,” said Mikleo quietly. “Really good.”

Sorey seemed to hum in acknowledgement before looking back at the television. A few moments passed before he closed his eyes and leaned back again.

“Sorey?” Mikleo’s voice was soft with concern and curiosity.

“Do you think it’s...” he frowned. “Is it gay if a guy gives their friend a blowjob?” Sorey shut his eyes, seeming to regret the words as soon as they fell from his lips.

Mikleo huffed. “Well. That was unexpected.”

A pause fell between them.

“First off,” Mikleo continued, “There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

“I know that,” said Sorey. “I didn’t say, I mean, just if that person wasn’t.”

“I would say that for the person giving, yes, it would potentially be considered gay of them to take someone in their mouth.”

“Yeah,” said Sorey, not moving.

“But for the one receiving, I suppose they could close their eyes and imagine it was anyone. At that point it just becomes a friends with benefits sort of situation. Exchanging one favor for another.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Is that all that was on your mind?”

Sorey nodded slowly. “Friends with benefits. I think that makes sense.”

“For some,” said Mikleo quirking an eyebrow.

Sorey frowned again, squinting his already closed eyes.

“Do you think you would ever do that?”

Mikleo thought for a moment. His heartbeat began to quicken.

“I suppose for the right person.” He paused. “Sorey.”

“Yeah?”

“Are we speaking in hypotheticals?”

Sorey did not respond. Mikleo eyed him carefully, and noticed his flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

“That game really did get you flustered, huh?” said Mikleo quietly.

Sorey further squinted shut his eyes.

“Okay,” said Mikleo. “Hypothetically. I would do that for you. We’re close, and I don’t think it would affect our friendship.”

“Are you sure?” said Sorey.

“We’re speaking in hypotheticals, Sorey.”

“Are we?”

Mikleo’s heart thumped harder in his chest.

“Please don’t. Don’t taunt me. You know I’d do it for you.”

Sorey’s lip quivered before he drew it back and bit into it. His lip rolled against his teeth for a moment. Mikleo watched the soft unfurling of his mouth, opening briefly as though he wanted to say something, held back by the clashing forces within his mind.

Mikleo looked down at his hands. They shook, vibrating uncontrollably with the excitement of possibility.

“Okay,” said Mikleo. “Okay. I’m just going to...” He moved from the couch to the floor, kneeling. He moved slowly as though he was trying not to scare a wild animal; not to let go of this slim chance of probability. He noticed Sorey’s leg bouncing up and down, surely vibrating with the same, unfamiliar, nervous energy. The bulge in Sorey’s pants was quite visible and prevalent. He angled himself between Sorey’s legs, placing a hand on his knee. Sorey gasped at the unexpected contact.

“Do you want this?” asked Mikleo softly.

A pause.

“Yeah,” whimpered Sorey.

Mikleo’s heartbeat rattled in his ears, drowning out the television narrator.

“I promise I won’t hurt you,” said Mikleo.

“I trust you,” said Sorey.

“Okay.” Mikleo drew his hands into fists, then opened them. “Okay.”

He inched closer on the floor between Sorey’s legs, and reached his fingers for Sorey’s belt.


	4. Chapter 4

The first fingertip grazed against the center of his belt, then the second. His thumb pried under the leather strip, loosening it from the metal tooth of the buckle. He pushed aside the now freed leather strips, and moved to the metal button at the top of his jeans.

Sorey inhaled sharply at the sensation of Mikleo’s fingertips manipulating the button, nervously discovering the zipper and holding it between his thumb and forefinger.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

Sorey shook his head no.

“Okay,” whispered Mikleo to himself. “Okay. Okay.”

He gripped the zipper and pulled, the clicking of each tooth a prelude. His pants fell open, giving access to soothe what must have been painful; Sorey’s cock, which had been bound tightly in place by the jeans now peeked out of his red plaid boxers. Mikleo used a delicate fingertip to slide the fabric of his boxers aside, allowing his cock to fully escape the prison of his jeans.

Sorey’s breath became more labored, his fidgeting feet dancing with energy. He lifted his chin, leaning his head back into the couch cushion, eyes firmly shut.

“Wow,” said Mikleo in admiration, the breath of his words tracing Sorey’s cock. “You’re beautiful.” He hummed. “And a little bigger than I expected.”

Sorey let out a small, needy sound. Mikleo leaned forward, eager to oblige his need and pressed his lips against the tip of Sorey’s cock. Sorey yelped and jolted before relaxing back into the couch. Mikleo licked his lips and kissed again, letting his softness of the inside of his lips roll against the head of his cock. Again Sorey bucked before relaxing, trying to control his movement.

Mikleo opened his jaw further, allowing Sorey’s cock to enter his mouth. He pulled back and swirled his tongue around the tip, savoring the mild saltiness of sweat and precum. He pressed further again, allowing his cock to be enveloped in his throat, deeper, pushing against his tongue until he was fully inside all Mikleo had to offer. He pulled back again, rolling his lips along his shaft, dragging them against the flare of his tip before sliding downward again, taking all of him into his mouth.

Sorey’s hand clumsily found his head, fingers pushed through Mikleo’s hair. Mikleo began to move more rhythmically, deliberately, his movements fluid and methodical. He took Sorey deeply, feeling his hand push against his head, guiding him forward, then letting him roll back.

Mikleo raised his eyelashes to look up at Sorey for approval. He was surprised to see emerald eyes watching his every move, darkened by lust, cheeks flushed with desire. Mikleo tensed briefly at the idea of being watched, then felt the hand on his head grasp in need, guiding him as Sorey began rolling his hips in time with Mikleo’s movements. His thrusting furthered and deepened, Mikleo’s breathing through his nose became more intense, the only sound he could hear beyond the gentle droning of the television, and Sorey’s shuddered breaths.

“I’m...” he heard Sorey say distantly.

He muffled a hum in agreeance to the best of his ability, the thrusting reduced to quivers as Sorey was brought to climax, the proof of his feat swallowed without hesitance. Mikleo pulled away, said a quiet goodbye to Sorey’s lovely cock, and sat back.

Mikleo watched Sorey as he blinked slowly, nodding and catching his breath. He waited a few moments for Sorey to soften, basking in his afterglow. Finally, he adjusted the fabric of Sorey’s boxer flaps, tucking his half-hard cock away and zipping his jeans. He returned the leather strip of his belt through the buckle, and locked the single metal tooth through shaking fingers.

Mikleo sat back on the couch beside Sorey, watching him. Sorey had stilled, breathing deeply, staring at the spot where Mikleo had been kneeling.

“Are we okay?” asked Mikleo, his voice quivering with fear.

Sorey nodded, his body shaking in time with his gesture. He continued the slow nodding, turning to look at Mikleo.

“You sure?” asked Mikleo.

Sorey’s lip dropped as though he was going to speak. Then, in a blur of motion, he was over Mikleo.

“Sorey,” said Mikleo. “What’re you... Sorey!”

“Your pants are so tight,” said Sorey, his finger struggling to pry Mikleo’s securely buckled belt. “I’m gonna have to...”

“Sorey, you don’t have to- whoa!”

Sorey lifted Mikleo over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Mikleo was stunned, too bewildered by the action to react, not until he was tossed onto the bed. Sorey pushed himself between Mikleo’s legs, this time successfully pulling the belt open, and in a somewhat triumphant gesture stripping it fully off his jeans.

“Sorey, you don’t have to reciprocate, I did that just for you-”

“Friends with benefits,” said Sorey. “I’m your friend too.”

“Fuck, Sorey, I didn’t expect this,” said Mikleo, the back of his hand over his mouth. “I didn’t-”

“You don’t want me to?” asked Sorey, having unbuckled Mikleo’s skinny jeans and pulled them open, his hands plunging to push them apart. Mikleo raised his hips.

“Of course, I- I’m not making you,” said Mikleo, wrestling to assist the tugs of Sorey working his skinny jeans down his legs. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” said Sorey, pulling the jeans fully off with gusto. Mikleo leaned his head back in to the pillow and bit his lip.

The bed became very still. Mikleo wondered for a moment what might be happening, the dawning realization of his discovery as Sorey’s fingertips traced the wide slashes of scars painted across his thighs. Mikleo seized all motion, paralyzed by the fear of Sorey’s reaction.

He felt Sorey’s gentle lips press a kiss to one thigh, then the other. The palms of his hands slid up his scarred thighs, pushing higher to the elastic waistband of his underwear. He looked down to see Sorey carefully tugging down at the underwear, care in his eyes, cautious not to hurt him. Once he successfully pulled his underwear fully off, he flung it to hopefully the same corner of the room he had launched his belt and pants towards moments earlier.

And Sorey was between his legs, curiously analyzing what he found. He heard Sorey chortle a laugh.

“What’s so funny,” asked Mikleo.

“I don’t know why I didn’t expect your hair down here to be white too,” said Sorey. “What little you have.”

“I’m albino, Sorey. And sorry if I haven’t trimmed in a few days. I wasn’t expecting this.”

“I know. Look at you. You’re so well groomed. I don’t think I’ve ever trimmed.” He watched Sorey move his hand forward, his fingertips grazing against the shaft of his cock. He bucked his back in response.

“Sensitive,” said Sorey.

Mikleo sat up and continued watching closely as Sorey curiously seemed to be admiring his cock. He looked up and smiled.

“It’s really pretty,” he said.

“I’m glad you think so,” said Mikleo, leaning his head back. “Do you want to just look at it, or...?

Sorey grinned wildly before opening his mouth enough to allow his tongue passage. He then licked once, as though Mikleo’s cock was an ice cream cone. Mikleo’s back bucked as he shuddered a laugh.

“What are you doing down there?”

“Having fun,” said Sorey.

Mikleo leaned his head back. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

He felt Sorey’s hand cradling his cock as he peppered it with soft, wet kisses. Mikleo turned his gaze back onto Sorey, watching closely as he seemed to consider his plan of attack. He watched as Sorey’s lips widened, and began to take him in from the tip.

He bucked wildly, his fingertips struggling to grasp at the sheets under him. The assault continued. The feeling of Sorey’s mouth pressed against his cock, swirled by his tongue and enveloping him was heady. He squirmed and whined with pleasure as Sorey’s hands found his hips, holding him in place to the best of his ability.  After a moment, Sorey coughed and pulled away.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he said, looking up, eyes watering. “You made it look easy.”

“You gagged?” asked Mikleo.

Sorey nodded, squinting and wiping his eyes.

“Do you want to stop?”

“No,” said Sorey. “If you can do it, so can I.”

“Try using your hand more, you won’t have to go as deep.”

“Okay. I’ll try again.”

Mikleo leaned his head back, thrilled at the minimal encouragement Sorey needed to continue, his thoughts interrupted by the feeling of Sorey’s firm grip on his cock. His toes curled as Sorey cautiously took him in his mouth. He began a rhythm, slowly at first, his hand and mouth moving together, gaining in momentum and confidence.

“Yeah,” whimpered Mikleo. “Yeah, mm-hyeah...” His hand found Sorey’s head, carding through his chestnut hair, pulling him down. Sorey peeked up at him, their eyes meeting for a fleeting moment before Mikleo threw his head back. His knees bent, feet flat on the bed as his hips raised gently in harmony with Sorey’s rhythm. One of Sorey’s hands wandered from his hip to his ass, grasping firmly. Mikleo let out a series of soft moans as unmistakable pressure built, his movement becoming more erratic.

“Ah, Sorey, I’m gonna, Sorey, Sorey-”

In a blinding burst of light his back arched, climax sending shuddering vibrations throughout his body. He tensed, his limbs lifting off the bed, then the tension faded; every muscle in his body relaxing as though they had never known such peace.

After catching his breath, he looked down at Sorey, still perched between his legs.

“Are you okay?” asked Sorey.

“Yeah,” said Mikleo softly.

“Was it good?”

Mikleo laughed between short breaths. “Yeah. Did you swallow?”

“Was I not supposed to?”

“You didn’t have to. You didn’t have to... any of this.”

“The agreement was friends with benefits, wasn’t it?”

Mikleo heaved a few more breaths. “Yeah.”

Sorey hummed. “So what kind of benefits do I get?”

Mikleo collapsed back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. “What?”

“What kind of-”

“You mean you’d want to do this again?”

“I mean, not this second, but, yeah,” said Sorey.

Mikleo felt his body returning to normal, his breaths becoming stable.

“I suppose there’s no harm in granting you full access,” said Mikleo quietly. “I trust you.”

“Full access,” repeated Sorey curiously, “Anytime I want?”

Mikleo swallowed. “Yeah.”

“And if I want to touch you...” He slid his fingers across Mikleo’s tummy, dipping into his belly button. “Here?” The muscles of Mikleo’s belly tensed in a tickled reaction.

“Yeah.”

“What about...” He dragged his fingers down into the soft, short hair that would have been obscured by underwear. “Here?”

Mikleo let out a small whimper. “Yeah.”

Sorey lifted his hand, and touched a gentle fingertip to the tip of Mikleo’s now softening cock. “Here?”

Mikleo bucked softly. “Yeah.”

He felt Sorey lifting his legs, pushing his hands up the underside of his thighs, then slinging his legs over his shoulders. There was a pause as he felt Sorey’s hands sliding down his thighs, hesitating, then a single finger pressed on his entrance.

“Here?” asked Sorey quietly.

Mikleo’s breathing increased in speed. “Yes,” he said. “I... yes. Full access.”

Sorey hummed in approval.

“I’m surprised you’re interested,” said Mikleo.

“Wow,” said Sorey. “How can anything fit in here?” His finger dragged along the soft wrinkles of his entrance, his pucker shut tightly. “It’s like a fortress.”

“It takes time to warm up,” he said quietly. “And lube.”

“Does it feel good?”

“Yeah,” said Mikleo.

Sorey hummed, his fingertip teasing pointlessly against the center of his impregnable entrance. He allowed Mikleo’s legs to slide off his shoulders.

“What else can we do?” he asked, now moving to lay parallel to Mikleo on the bed, his curious and analytical eyes darting about Mikleo’s flushed face.

“Are you asking what you’re allowed? Or what two men can do with each other.”

“The second one,” said Sorey.

Mikleo hummed, leaning back into the bed and staring up at the ceiling. “We could use our hands. We can sixty nine. Or rut together.”

“How does sixty nineing work?”

“I could show you,” said Mikleo.

“I need a few more minutes,” said Sorey.

“Not right now,” said Mikleo. “Wow. I never expected you to have such an appetite.”

“You’re brand new. I want to play with you,” said Sorey.

“Damn,” he whispered.

Sorey hummed a smile.

“We could... It would be okay if you touch me. It doesn’t have to be sexual.”

“Full access,” said Sorey.

“We could be naughty in public places.”

Sorey blushed profoundly. “Would you, though?”

“Or we could roleplay.”

He felt a pillow slam into the side of his face.

“Okay, alright,” said Mikleo, sitting up. “Sorry. I was a _bad kitty_.”

Another pillow was quickly tossed at his head.

“Fine, fine,” said Mikleo. “Can you help me find my pants?”

“What else can we do?” asked Sorey, not moving from his spot on the bed.

“We can watch the documentary I’ve been trying to watch all evening,” said Mikleo. “We’re still friends, you know.”

“Or,” said Sorey, sitting up. He slid his finger in under his own belt buckle, unhooking and pulling it off, and unbuttoned the top of his jeans. “We could try this sixty nine thing.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self harm mention TW

The door of the restaurant chimed, announcing his entrance. He quickly spotted his red haired friend, fussing with the straw in her drink. He plopped down across from her, no need for introduction.

“What,” said Rose, “Could possibly be so exciting that you had to meet for _breakfast_?” She quirked an eyebrow. “And since when do you smile like that?”

Mikleo’s grin grew wider. “It’s Sorey.”

Rose raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “Of course.”

“We,” said Mikleo, “Are officially friends with benefits.”

Rose slammed her hand on the table and leaned forward. “What?”

Mikleo leaned back. “Settle down.”

“I thought he was het?” asked Rose, taking a sip of her drink.

Mikleo wrinkled his nose. “He thinks he’s found some kind of sexuality loophole by being friends with benefits. Favor for a favor.”

“That makes no sense.”

“It does to him. I’ll let him come to terms with it soon enough. I won’t push it, though.” Mikleo paused. “I imagine someone straight would have a difficult time doing... what he has been doing.”

“So he’s bi curious,” said Rose. She shook her head with an exhale. “No shame in that.”

Mikleo shook his head. “You know the kind of household he was brought up in. His mom would kill us both if she found out.”

“Ugh,” groaned Rose. “I’m happy for you, but what the hell, man.”

“Huh?”

“Why you and not me? Why can’t I convince a cute girl to do-” she waved her hand. “Whatever it is you guys are doing, except for the butt stuff.”

“There is no butt stuff,” said Mikleo, enunciating each word, likely a little too loudly. “Not yet.” He gripped his arm.

“Taking it slow?”

“Three times last night and again this morning,” said Mikleo, his face plastered with false seriousness. Rose snorted, nearly choking on her drink.

“Oh shit! She’s here,” said Rose. Mikleo turned his head. “Don’t look!”

“Why tell me that she’s here, then say not to look?”

“What is a girl that pretty doing in a place like this?”

“Rose...”

“She’s my burger princess.” Rose sighed deeply. “I love her.”

“The only thing she’s ever said to you is, ‘Can I take your order?’”

“She’s so attentive,” continued Rose. “And her eyes are... and her hair, is just... I’m gay,” said Rose. “I’m gay.”

Mikleo nodded. “I understand.”

“Listen, I gotta go,” said Rose, standing. “You have fun in class. And enjoy...” she waved her hand dismissively, “ _whatever_ it is you’re doing.”   
  
“ _Not_ butt stuff,” said Mikleo.

She raised a hand dismissively and walked out the door. Mikleo chuckled to himself and headed to the register to order.

“How can I help you?” asked the blonde employee at the register.

“Good morning,” said Mikleo. “Can I get a number thirteen, please? With a coffee.”

She gave him his total, he swiped his card. Moments later, she returned with his order. He thanked her, picked up the tray and turned to leave.

“Can I ask you a question?” asked the girl.

“Uh... sure?” said Mikleo apprehensively.

“The girl you’re always here with, is she your girlfriend?”

“No,” he said, scratching his nose with his left hand, doing his best to make his rainbow bracelet obvious.

“She’s very attentive to you,” said the girl. “If you’re not dating, perhaps you should be.”

Mikleo quirked an eyebrow. Nope, she didn’t get it.

“Rose is a good friend. But with all due respect, I’m-” He paused, leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I’m gay,” he said, nodding, as though he was letting her on in the biggest secret in the world.

“Oh, my, I didn’t realize,” she said, leaning back, covering her mouth with her hands. “She’s just such a nice looking girl, and she’s always early, waiting on you every time you meet.”

“I’m honored to have her as a friend,” said Mikleo.

“Well. I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one conversation,” she said, her cheeks alit. “Thanks for your patronage. I’m just gonna,” she took a step backwards.

Mikleo raised a hand to wave goodbye. “Take it easy.”

“Enjoy your food,” she said before heading to the back of the store.

Mikleo pulled out his phone.

“Hey,” he texted. “Burger princess thinks you’re cute.”

Immediately his phone buzzed with responses.

“Don’t talk to her”

“She’s my princess”

“What happened”

“Tell me everything”

Mikleo smiled, setting his phone on the food tray and moving to the back of the restaurant. He settled into a seat, taking his time before responding.

“She asked if you were my girlfriend.”

He took a bite of his breakfast sandwich, bemused to see his phone light up again.

“Dslkfjdsfjkdf”

He chuckled to himself before responding.

“Don’t worry, I told her I’m gay. She’s sweet. She sounded disappointed we weren’t dating because you’re such a ‘nice looking girl.’”

“Her words, not mine.”

Within moments, Rose responded.

“Nice like good looking”

“Or nice like i’d never do anything wrong”

Mikleo texted his response.

“You’ll have to ask her”

His phone fell silent as he finished his breakfast in peace, and headed towards the campus for his first class.

  
  
  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
  
  


Mikleo leaned against his palm, elbow planted on the front counter. School in the morning and work in the afternoon was a tiring schedule to follow. He wondered if Sorey was out of his evening class yet. He glanced at his phone, surprised when it lit up before he touched it.

A text message flashed on his screen.

“Hey, just got out. Grabbing some chinese, do you want sweet and sour pork?”

Mikleo smiled, picked up his phone and hit reply.

“Thank you, that would be perfect.”

He set down the phone. They had only exchanged a few texts since Sorey left that morning for work, just the usual conversation about customers and traffic. Mikleo wrinkled his nose. Was it really that simple to Sorey? Was he the only one having conflicted thoughts and feelings?

Feelings?

Mikleo bit his lip. Sorey was unavailable to him. He was not a possibility. What they were doing was for fun, with no long term sustainability. They should still consider themselves single, and that one day Sorey would break his heart- no, he would find someone. His heart has nothing to do with their arrangement. Feelings were a bad idea.

These thoughts were a Pandora's box, after all, that he had done well to push away.

Time continued to pass, slowly, until it was finally closing time.

  


 

 

* * *

 

  
  


 

Mikleo unlocked the door, stepping inside and locking it behind him.

“Hey,” he heard Sorey say.

“Hey,” said Mikleo. He dropped his bag by the door and sat himself at the dining table. “Thanks for bringing me dinner.”

“Sorry I didn’t wait, I was too hungry.”

“No worries.” Mikleo opened the styrofoam lid, his sweet and sour pork still warm. He rustled through a paper bag on the table, locating a pair of chopsticks and began to eat.

“How was your day?” asked Mikleo between bites.

“Fine,” said Sorey. “Work was boring and class was easy.”

Mikleo hummed and continued eating.

“You don’t have to keep me company,” said Mikleo.

He looked up and met Sorey’s eyes. There was something strange in them, something distant as though he had been deep in thought and disturbed by Mikleo’s presence. Mikleo tried to ignore it and resumed eating. He was nearly done when he felt Sorey’s eyes burning on him again.

“Sorey.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re staring.”

“Sorry, I-” Sorey blinked and turned his head, having been caught. “I just, I was wondering if we could talk.”

Mikleo nodded as he finished chewing his last bite. He did his best to keep his body from outwardly showing the fear gripping his heart. Sorey wanted to have a talk. His mind began to run away with the idea. Sorey hated him now. He would have to find another place to live. He hurt his friend, and their relationship would never recover. Taking a deep breath, he silenced his running mind.

The chair clattered, sliding against the floor behind him as he stood. He closed the styrofoam lid of his now leftovers and moved them to the fridge. Finally, he came back to the dining table and returned to his seat next to Sorey.

“Okay,” said Mikleo. “Let’s talk.”

Sorey scooted his chair closer. He gingerly reached his hands out. Confused, Mikleo offered his own hands. Sorey grabbed them without hesitance, flipped them wrist side up and stroked his thumbs along the long scars on Mikleo’s forearms. He lowered his eyes.

“Last night was the first time I saw the scars on your legs,” he started. “It made me... I got scared.” Sorey looked up. “I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay now.”

“It’s in the past,” said Mikleo quietly, somewhat relieved.

“You never told me what happened,” said Sorey. “Am I allowed to ask?”

Mikleo closed his eyes and raised his eyebrows. This was not the conversation he was expecting. He searched his heart and decided that yes, he did feel ready to share.

“Do you remember the night you came back to town?”

“Of course,” said Sorey. “It was a pretty eventful night, hard to forget. You got a semi-colon tattoo. I know the significance,” he continued, “but not the details.”

“I told you it was an anniversary.”

“Right,” said Sorey.

Mikleo drew his hands back. Sorey released them softly, as if to let Mikleo know he would continue holding them if he asked.

“It’s been almost a year,” said Mikleo, huffing a small laugh to himself. “I don’t think about it much anymore. I’m a different person now.”

Sorey nodded, attentively listening.

“I used to cut myself.”

“Mikleo,” said Sorey softly.

“I don’t anymore. I haven’t since then.”

Sorey nodded slowly.

Mikleo laughed to himself incredulously and leaned his head back, facing the ceiling. “I used to cut myself all the time. It was a release. The only way I could feel anything. I... I hated who I was. I hated being lonely, I hated being a freak. I hated being someone who I wasn’t.”

“I reached a low,” he continued. “One night after school I had enough. The thought of going on sickened me. I was empty. Couldn’t handle it anymore.” He paused. “So I laid in the bathtub, took a razor and I...” His words shook. He flipped his wrists to the ceiling, his scars visible to the world; the last of the scars on display, the thickest, pinkest set, nested in years of attempts. Sorey again grasped for him, this time placing a hand in each of his, squeezing.

“I passed out. It’s an odd feeling, knowing the last time you’ll close your eyes. I had made my peace. This world wasn’t for me, and would be better off without me in it. And then, I woke up, in the hospital with my wrists stitched shut, and legs bound to the bed.”

Sorey squeezed his hands tightly.

  
“I spent the next three days in the hospital, subject to tests and interrogations. They made me speak to a psychiatrist, who was surprisingly helpful. After speaking to me for no more than a few minutes he figured out that I was closeted. He said it’s common for teens around my age to end up there for the same reason.” Mikleo paused. “He told me I did die that night. I died, to give the person here now a chance to live. That there were never two me’s, there was only ever one and I can’t push away who I really am. He gave me the perspective I needed, and the confidence to act. The person I was pretending to be, the person who lied about who he was to make everyone happy, that person was gone.”

“At the end of the third day, I was released. My uncle was waiting for me in the waiting room. The first words out of my mouth were ‘I’m gay.’ From his reaction I’m sure he wished I had died.” Mikleo snorted a laugh. “He couldn’t stop me, no matter how disappointed he was. I was out, and everyone was going to know. I got my bracelet and have been wearing it ever since. I even went to an LGBT alliance group. That’s where I met Rose. It was both our first and last times there, no one else was really around our ages. She was just there to meet girls anway.”

Sorey chuckled a small laugh and squeezed his hands.

“Six months later I met you,” said Mikleo. “And now it’s been nearly a year.”

“It was a six month anniversary,” said Sorey. “When you got your tattoo.”

“Yes,” said Mikleo. “It was a long road, but after hitting rock bottom I’ve finally learned to love myself.”

“Have you... hurt yourself since?”

“Not once. I don’t have the urge to anymore.” Mikleo smiled. “Is that what you were worried about?”

Sorey nodded.

“The person who did this to me is gone,” said Mikleo. “He can’t hurt me anymore.”

“Do you promise?”

“Huh?”

“Promise me,” said Sorey, his emerald eyes watering with tears. “Promise me you’ll never do anything like this again.”

“It’s in the past,” said Mikleo, surprised by Sorey’s emotion. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Promise me,” repeated Sorey with more urgency.

“I promise,” said Mikleo. “I will never hurt myself again.”

Sorey flung himself into a hug, pressing his head against Mikleo’s chest. Mikleo held him, gently rubbing his back. After a moment Sorey separated himself, rubbing tears away with his palms.

“You must have been so alone and scared,” said Sorey.

“I was. I don’t feel that way anymore.” Mikleo smiled sadly.

“Promise to tell me if you ever feel like that,” said Sorey. “I want to be there for you.”

“I’m not your responsibility,” said Mikleo. “My problems are my own.”

“Promise me,” he repeated.

“Fine. I promise,” said Mikleo quietly.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” said Sorey. “You mean a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me too,” said Mikleo, pushing away the blooming feeling in his chest.

Sorey hesitated for a moment. “You must be really tired after today,” he said.

“I had the same schedule as you, just flipped. School then work.”

“Yeah, but I got home sooner.”

“You started sooner too.”

Sorey smiled. “I was going to offer a backrub, but you seem to be talking your way out of it.”

Mikleo quirked an eyebrow before turning sideways in his chair to give Sorey access. Sorey took the opportunity, his large warm hands on Mikleo’s back in a matter of moments. Sorey gently rubbed as Mikleo leaned into it, melting into relaxation.

“You’re really thin,” commented Sorey.

“Would you believe that I’ve gained a ton of weight?”

“Not at all,” said Sorey.

Mikleo hummed. “My skinny jeans are almost too tight. I’d like to go to the mall for a new pair, if you wouldn’t mind driving.”

“That would be fun,” said Sorey.

A silence lulled between them, Sorey’s hand rubbing circles on Mikleo’s back the only movement in the room.

“Sorry for asking about it,” mumbled Sorey. “I made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay. You’re the first person I’ve told,” said Mikleo.

“Then... I’m honored you shared with me.”

“Sometimes,” continued Sorey, “Even though we’ve spent every day together since we reconnected, I still feel like I don’t know you.”

“There’s not much to know,” said Mikleo, his head hanging forward, bouncing to the rhythm of the backrub.

“I know enough to know that’s not true,” said Sorey. “You’re complicated. And a little brooding.”

“ _Brooding_?”

“Okay, maybe not quite brooding, but... you’re always in your head. You think a lot.”

“Overthink, maybe,” conceded Mikleo. He hummed.

“What?”

“I feel like I know you pretty well,” said Mikleo. “You’re straightforward. And loyal. Like a dog.”

“A dog?”

“Yeah, like a golden retriever.”

Sorey’s hands paused. “I’m not sure if that’s an insult or a compliment.”

“It’s a compliment. Even if I don’t really like dogs.”

“Now I’m really not sure.”

“You’re thoughtful, kind, loyal and protective,” said Mikleo. The backrub slowly restarted. “And yet,” he continued, “I think there’s a lot you keep from me too.”

“I’m an open book,” said Sorey quietly.

Mikleo’s heart pounded. “Then tell me. Tell me what you think about what we did.”

Sorey leaned forward. His warm breath danced against Mikleo’s ear. Tension twisted in his gut.

“I think,” he started, “that this massage would be more effective if you took your shirt off.”

Mikleo froze momentarily before acknowledging his response. He reached his now shaking fingers up to his collar, unbuttoning each button of his shirt, reaching the bottom button. He pulled the shirt off one arm, shrugging it off the other. He then pulled his white undershirt up and over his head, and tossed both aside onto the floor.

Sorey’s hands returned to his back, the shock of his calloused fingertips seeking knots sending shivers down Mikleo’s spine.

“Your hands are rough,” said Mikleo.

“I did construction last Summer for extra money,” said Sorey. “It did a number on my hands.”

“I didn’t know that,” said Mikleo. “Learning new things about you every day.”

Sorey hummed.

“You were right,” said Mikleo. “This is much better without clothing between us.”

Sorey hummed again in agreement.

“You ignored my question,” said Mikleo.

“I thought I answered it,” said Sorey.

“How is giving me a backrub an answer?”

“You asked what I thought. And my answer was that I want to touch you more. I... thought that was pretty clear.”

“It wasn’t.” Mikleo frowned. “But I guess your twisted method of communication makes sense, now that you explain it.”

“What about you?” said Sorey. “How do you feel about it?”

Mikleo froze momentarily. “I think,” he started with a small, quiet voice. “I enjoyed it a lot.”

“Me too.”

“And I want it to continue,” he said.

“Me too.”

“But if either of us start dating, we have to tell the other right away.”

Sorey’s hands paused for a moment. “Of course,” he agreed, restarting the massage. “This is an exclusive arrangement.”

Mikleo hummed. “One day, some cute boy is going to steal me away.”

“You deserve to be happy.”

Mikleo smiled. “I hope he’s smart. And funny. I hope he’s sappy and romantic, and lets me make fun of him for it. But deep down, I’ll love it.”

“He’s out there, waiting for you,” said Sorey. “But for my own selfish sake, let’s keep him waiting.”

“And if I meet him tomorrow?” said Mikleo.

Sorey’s hands moved down Mikleo’s sensitive flank, poking a barrage of tickles.

“I’ll tell him to come back later,” said Sorey.

Mikleo squirmed under Sorey’s hands.

“Not fair,” said Mikleo.

“What’s not fair?”

Mikleo swiveled around, jamming his thumbs into Sorey’s sides. Sorey swatted his hands away with one hand, reaching to resume tickling with the other. Mikleo tugged at Sorey’s shirt.

“You have an advantage. Take this off.”

Sorey smirked before whipping his black tee shirt over his head, revealing his naked chest. Mikleo paused in admiration before raising his hands again, fingers outstretched, assaulting Sorey’s torso with tickling pokes. Sorey squirmed and grasped on to Mikleo. Soon they had fallen from the chairs, sprawled on the floor. Sorey wrestled Mikleo, easily overpowering him until he was face down, his face squashed against the carpet. Sorey held Mikleo’s arms against his back and tickled his sides until he was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe.

Finally, Sorey had enough of his victory and released Mikleo. Mikleo rolled to his back beneath him, the sudden shock of their chests touching against each other jarring. He smiled deeply.

“What?” asked Sorey, a laugh still in his voice.

“It’s weird, but this feels really good.”

“What does?”

“Your chest against mine.”

Sorey shifted slightly, their chests rubbing against each other.

“It does feel really good,” said Sorey.

“I guess we’re both that touch starved,” said Mikleo.

“Touch starved,” repeated Sorey. “Yeah.”

Mikleo leaned his head back into the carpet, his lips parted slightly in gesture as though he was waiting for something. He then closed his eyes, somewhat disappointed in himself. There was no way Sorey was going to kiss him.

He did, however feel something. A thumb brushed against his bottom lip, moving up to follow the line of his cheekbone, fingertips grazing against his ear before pulling away.  

“You look so relaxed,” said Sorey. “Can we move to the bed?”

Mikleo grunted in approval, propping himself up with his hands against the floor. Sorey stood first, offering a hand to help him stand. Mikleo begrudgingly took it, and allowed himself to be led to the bedroom. He sat on the bed.

“This is a no pants zone,” said Sorey.

“Says who?” asked Mikleo.

“It’s a new rule,” said Sorey. “No pants when you’re on the bed.”

Mikleo pretended to grumble, unbuckling his belt and sliding his skinny jeans onto the floor. Sorey excitedly pulled his own pants off, hopping, one leg at a time before falling onto the bed.

“Under the covers?” asked Sorey.

“Yeah,” said Mikleo.

The blanket fluttered over them. The boys found themselves laying side by side, facing each other in a nestled embrace.

“This is really nice,” said Sorey.

“Yeah,” said Mikleo. “I could fall asleep here.”

Sorey hummed.

Mikleo took a deep breath. The feeling he had been pushing down welled into his chest, spilling over. He clenched his eyes shut, reminding himself that he wasn’t allowed to get attached to Sorey like that. If that were to happen they would have to stop; it would bring nothing more than hurt for everyone involved.

“Sorey,” said Mikleo softly.

“Yeah?”

“Is that your dick?”

Sorey blushed, nestling his face into Mikleo’s shoulder. “Yeah.” He paused. “No pants zone for easy access.”

Mikleo laughed. “Is that why?”

“Thought it was obvious.”

Mikleo caressed Sorey’s arm in contemplation of his next move before slipping his head under the covers to disappear beneath the sheets.


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey, are you doing anything after work?”

Mikleo looked down at the text message on his phone screen.

“I don’t have any plans,” texted Mikleo. “Do you have something in particular in mind?”

“Yeah,” texted Sorey. “Pick you up at 7?”

“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?” Mikleo smiled, despite the tone of his own text.

“Dinner first,” came Sorey’s response.

“And then?” texted Mikleo.

“See you soon!” texted Sorey.

Mikleo grumbled to himself. Despite Sorey’s attempt at aggravation, Mikleo smiled in excitement for whatever he had planned.

Seven finally rolled around as he closed up the bookstore and met Sorey in his car waiting outside.

“Hey,” said Mikleo.

“Hey!” said Sorey excitedly.

“So where are we going?”

“What are you hungry for?”

“Geez, are you serious? I thought you had something planned.”

“I... don’t have dinner planned,” said Sorey.

Mikleo laughed. “Well, since it doesn’t have to be somewhere within walking distance, Rose recommended a restaurant that sells curry burritos.”

“I’m in,” said Sorey. “Navigate me.”

Mikleo enjoyed the easy, casual conversation that flowed between them, finding simple relaxation beside Sorey. Work was draining but being around Sorey reinvigorated him. Finally, they reached the restaurant.

“Do you think they do to go orders?”

“Why, do you have somewhere to be?” asked Mikleo.

Sorey grinned, heading into the restaurant.

Soon they were leaving, a paper bag in tow with two large foil wrapped burritos tucked safely inside.

“Okay,” said Mikleo. “Where are we going now?”

“For a drive,” said Sorey. “Just trust me, okay?”

“Just so you know, I’d be very concerned with where you’re taking me. If you were anyone else.” Mikleo gazed out the window, the last of the sun's rays long since gone behind the mountains.

“Good thing I’m me then,” said Sorey.

Mikleo grumbled, once again smiling at Sorey’s best attempts of aggravation. He wondered if it would ever get old, or if he would always enjoy his friend’s silly charm. He hoped for the latter.

The roads grew darker as Sorey continued driving. The city became more sparse, businesses replaced with homes, homes replaced with trees and trees replaced with steep hillsides. The road curved and twined as Sorey slowed to accommodate the difficulty.

“Are we going up the mountains?” asked Mikleo.

“Yeah,” said Sorey.

Mikleo nodded, and hummed along with the radio.

After another few minutes of driving, Sorey turned off onto a bumpy, dirt road.

“Are we lost?” asked Mikleo.

“I know exactly where we’re going. Don’t worry, we’re almost there.”

“Okay,” said Mikleo incredulously.

After a few more turns, he parked at the side of the road. Smiling, he pulled the parking brake, shut the car off and opened the door.

“We’re here,” he announced, leaving the car.

“Sorey-” Mikleo struggled to rapidly unbuckle his safety belt and open the door. “What do you mean we’re here? There’s nothing around for miles.”

“Exactly,” said Sorey, moving to the rear of the car. He pulled the trunk open, bringing out a large canvas bag. “Can you grab the food?”

Mikleo clutched the brown paper bag and exited the car, watching Sorey. Sorey had pulled a large blanket out of the bag and was setting it on the sparse grass beneath them. He then rustled through the bag for a second blanket, laying it on top of the first.

Mikleo took a moment to glance around the environment. He noticed the privacy of the dark clearing they were at, nestled safely between the trees. He looked up at the sky and nearly fell over at the intensity of the stars.

“Wow,” said Mikleo.

“The stars are really something out here, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” he said. “They’re so bright.”

“Bring the food over,” said Sorey, seating himself on the blankets and patting the space beside him.

“This was your plan?” asked Mikleo, cautiously sitting beside Sorey. “Going up in the mountains with some to-go food and stargazing?”

“Well, yeah,” said Sorey, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. “I thought you might think it was a dumb idea.”

Mikleo chewed the inside of his cheek. “It’s really nice, actually. Which one’s mine?”

“This one,” said Sorey, handing him one of the foil wrapped burritos.

“Did you get napkins?” asked Mikleo.

“I did,” said Sorey, handing him a few.

Mikleo took the first bite of his burrito.

“Oh wow,” asked Mikleo. “This is amazing.”

“It’s so good,” said Sorey. “Rose was right on.”

“I’ll tell her you said that,” said Mikleo. “Her food suggestions are always great.”

The burritos disappeared quickly. Soon they were tucked under the blanket, gazing at the night sky.

“The stars are so bright,” said Sorey, pointing. “There’s Vega. And that over there is Cappella.”

Mikleo hummed. “There’s Orion’s belt,” he said, pointing as well.

“The Big Dipper, and there, the Little Dipper.”

“Ursa Major and Minor,” corrected Mikleo.

“I knew that. And there, the great square of Pegasus.”

“Did you see that? A shooting star.”

“I missed it! Where?”

“Over there.”

“It’s too late in the season for Perseids. It must be an early Orionid.”

“You really know a lot about this,” Mikleo chuckled.

“Cancer would be over there.” Sorey pointed to the Western horizon. “It’ll be visible in a few months.”

“Another shooting star,” said Mikleo, pointing.

“Aw, I missed it again!”

Mikleo shivered.

“Are you cold?” said Sorey. “I was hoping the blankets would be enough.” He scooted closer to Mikleo.

Mikleo hummed, content to lay next to Sorey, gazing at the stars. After a few moments of silence, Sorey’s hand shot up again, pointed at the sky.

“I saw that one,” said Sorey. “Did you see it?”

“Yeah,” said Mikleo.

“It’s humbling, isn’t it?” said Sorey. “All this space out there. It really helps me to remember that there’s so much that... doesn’t matter.”

“That sounds depressing.”

“No, I mean,” started Sorey. “Getting embarrassed, or being afraid to try something new, none of that matters. We have so little time here that it’s just not worth it to sweat the small stuff. All that does matter, is that we enjoy our time here on Earth. That we’re good to each other.”

Mikleo sighed deeply.

“What?”

“You are _the biggest_ sap.”

Sorey shuffled, and ended up snuggled closer to Mikleo.

“Maybe.”

“You dork.” Mikleo sighed. “I wish you never left.” The words escaped; He didn’t mean to say it.

“Me too.”

His body tensed, wandering with the thought. If he had a friend like Sorey, it’s possible he wouldn’t have fallen into depression as deeply as he had. He might have been able to confide in him, and he might not have felt so alone. He even might not have tried to kill himself. What if he had succeeded? Sorey would blame no one but himself, taking on the burden of Mikleo’s mistakes. Did Sorey blame himself now? Did he feel responsible for what Mikleo had done to himself in his absence?

“But,” continued Mikleo, “It’s not worth it to dwell on the past. No use dwelling over what-ifs, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorey.”

“Huh?”

“It’s in the past.”

Sorey grumbled. “I know, but if I had to do it over, I’d do it different.”

“We were kids, Sorey. It was out of our control. Do you remember how much we cried?”

“We were twelve,” said Sorey. “You were my best friend. I felt like my world was ending. I cried for days afterwards.”

“Me too.”

Sorey chuckled to himself. “This evening is not going how I thought.”

“Why not?”

Sorey pulled Mikleo closer. “I brought you up here because I thought we could have a picnic under the stars, and then you know,” He nuzzled against Mikleo’s neck. “Have a little fun.”

Mikleo squirmed under Sorey’s cold nose. “I suspected as much.”

“But instead, I’m getting to know you more. And that’s... so much better.”

“Oh,” said Mikleo. He felt his cheeks warming with a blush against the cool Autumn night.

“We can still have fun,” said Mikleo quietly.

“Yeah?”

Mikleo smiled softly. “Yeah.”

Sorey hesitated before his hands carefully pulled up Mikleo’s shirt, wandering, softly exploring his body. Mikleo relaxed into the blanket, content watching the stars, and satisfied with being wanted.


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey, are you awake?”

Mikleo rolled onto his back. “Yeah.”

“I woke up before my alarm,” said Sorey.

“Me too.”

The bed shuffled under Sorey’s weight. Mikleo felt his hand crawling over his chest, reaching his nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

“Oh.”

“Good morning,” said Sorey, laughter in his words.

“Well good morning to you too,” said Mikleo, stretching his limbs out. Another of Sorey’s hands wove under the blanket, finding his other nipple and softly drawing circles around it. “What’re you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m... trying to get you hard,” said Sorey, burying his face in Mikleo’s shoulder. “Is it working?”

Mikleo groaned. “Do we have time?”

“I don’t have to be up for a while.”

Mikleo leaned, picking up his phone briefly, then set it back on the nightstand. “Me neither.”

Sorey’s head ducked between the covers, switching places with a pair of his fingers in favor of his tongue. Mikleo moaned quietly, reaching down and pulling his underwear off. Moments later, Sorey climbed on top of him, straddling, continuing to manipulate his nipples.

“Sorey,” said Mikleo, blushing deeply. “Is that your dick?”

“Yeah,” said Sorey, between the soft motions of his tongue.

“On mine?”

“Yeah,” said Sorey. “Is it okay?”

“When did you take your underwear off?”

“Just now.”

Mikleo bit his lip.

“Is it okay?” repeated Sorey, moving up to face Mikleo.

“Yeah, it’s just... hah-”

“I’ve never seen you blush so much,” said Sorey, rolling his hips. They slid against each other, an entirely new experience for both of them.

“ _God-_ I’ve never- _hah-_ been so- _ahh-_ ” Mikleo melted further into the bed.

“Turned on?”

“ _Mmm-_ Sorey, don’t make fun- _ahh_...”

“Wow,” said Sorey. “I never get to see all these faces you make.” Sorey continued gently rolling his hips against Mikleo. He felt Mikleo’s hips widen as his legs moved to wrap around Sorey, one hand gripping his ass, the other moving between them, wrapping around their sliding cocks.

“Oh,” said Sorey, with a soft laugh. “That’s... oh. That’s really good.” He buried his forehead against Mikleo’s neck.

“Yeah...-”

Sorey’s mouth found Mikleo’s shoulder, chewing softly at first, then sucking hard enough to leave a blossoming, red mark. Mikleo moaned softly as Sorey continuously rolled his hips and sucked, leaving several more marks across Mikleo’s shoulders, chest and neck.

Mikleo felt Sorey’s breath bravely travelling close his mouth. He parted his lips, this time Sorey followed through with the gesture by pressing his own slightly ajar mouth against his.

Mikleo’s eyes shot wide open at the sensation. There was nothing delicate or chaste about their first kiss, or the way Sorey’s mouth was on his. It was desperate, passionate; saturated in pleasure and need. Sorey was aggressive, dominating their kiss with gentle force and odd familiarity, their tongues meeting casually as though this was the hundredth time they’ve done it.

Mikleo kissed back, fervent and eager. It was something he had wanted for a while, despite constantly battling the overflowing feeling in his chest. This was physical pleasure, plain and simple, an extension of their agreement and nothing more.

Sorey pulled back, shaking. “Are you close?”

“Yeah,” said Mikleo.

“I’m... I can’t hold-” Sorey’s breath shuddered with every word.

“Me too,” whimpered Mikleo. “I’m...-”

“Ahh... Mikleo-” His words melted as the rhythmic motion of their bodies deepened. Mikleo felt the succumb and release, Sorey’s thrusting slowed as they rode out the waves of their simultaneous climax together, heat pooling between them. Sorey collapsed on top of him, trying not to drop all his weight on Mikleo, nuzzling against his neck.

“Was it okay that I?”

“Hmm?” asked Mikleo, still dazed in the afterglow. He reached up to play with a lock of Sorey’s hair.

“The kissing, was that okay?”

Mikleo laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’re concerned about kissing? Not ‘hey, is it okay that I rubbed my dick against yours?’”

Sorey chuckled. “I guess that is a little more intimate, isn’t it?”

“It falls under our arrangement. While in the throes of passion, of course.”

“Yeah.” Sorey slid his belly higher up against Mikleo’s, then froze.

“Sorey.”

“Yeah, it’s starting to drip,” said Sorey. “There’s a lot.”

“Let me get a few tissues-”

“I can reach it easier,-”

“Maybe if we both-”

“Hurry,” said Mikleo, slightly panicked.

“I’m trying,” said Sorey, reaching. “I got- whoops.” The box of tissues clattered to the floor.

“What was that?”

“The tissue box,” said Sorey. “But I got one.” He sat up, separating his belly from Mikleo’s. He pulled his fist towards them, clinging tightly to the one tissue he was treasuring.

“That’s not enough,” said Mikleo, looking down.

“I know that,” said Sorey, trying to sop up the mess threatening to drip from Mikleo’s belly onto the bed. Just then, Mikleo’s phone began to chime with his morning alarm. The sound seemed to paralyze Sorey, his eyes widening in confusion.

Mikleo started laughing. “Sorey. I have to get up.”

“Okay,” said Sorey. He slipped an arm under the small of Mikleo’s back, and effortlessly swung his upper body over the side of the bed.

“Whoa, what’re you-”

“Can you reach the tissues?”

“I... yeah, I got it. Good thinking,” said Mikleo, his fingertips grasping the edge of the tissue box. Sorey pulled him back onto the bed as they both hastily grabbed several tissues and captured as much of the mess as they could. Mikleo grabbed his phone and turned off his alarm.

“I have to shower,” said Mikleo.

“I’m coming too,” said Sorey.

Mikleo smiled in disbelief. “You want to join me?” he asked.

“I’ve got to clean off too,” he said. Sorey hopped off the bed, and wandered into the bathroom.

Mikleo groaned and laid back into the bed. “Fine,” said Mikleo. “Do you think you can give me a ride to work?”

“Already planning on it,” said Sorey, his voice echoing from the bathroom.

Mikleo finally slid out of bed, and joined Sorey in the bathroom.

“Sorey.”

“Hmm?”

He touched his hand to his neck, gazing at his reflection in the mirror.

“You marked me.”

Sorey chuckled. “Yeah, I suppose I did.”

“This looks really bad,” said Mikleo, pressing his fingertips against each blossoming red mark, trailing down from his neck to his shoulder. “I’m going to have to wear a turtleneck for the next few days. Or a scarf.”

“Sorry,” said Sorey. He sounded genuine. “I won’t do it again.”

“No, it’s okay,” said Mikleo, trying to hold back a smile, and failing. “Just... not on the neck.”

“If you insist,” said Sorey, turning the shower on. “Wanna find out how well the shower fits two?”

  
  


* * *

 

  


“Bored”

Mikleo peeked down at his phone at the text message flashing on his screen.

“I’m in class,” he responded, pulling his phone under the desk. He glanced over at Sorey next to him, avidly taking notes.

“And I’m at work”

“What’s up”

Mikleo sighed. He smirked to himself, attaching a picture that he had snapped this morning of his upper body, blossoming red marks across his shoulder and neck.

“WHOA”

“Thanks for reminding me of all the sex you’re getting”

“And I’m not :(“

Sorey elbowed him from the desk beside him. Mikleo glanced up from his phone. He feigned paying attention. It wasn’t like him to shirk off anything school related; this class was a review of material he’d already covered, missing a small part of a lecture should be safe. He slunk further under his desk, texting.

“He kissed me this morning. While we were doing stuff.” He hit send.

“Sounds like it’s getting serious between you two,” came Rose’s response.

“I don’t know how to feel about it. I want him to, but I don’t. It's dangerous.”

“What do you mean?” texted Rose.

“I’m going to fall for him,” he confessed, hitting the send button.

Another elbow from Sorey. He perked up, hastily flipping his phone face down on the desk.

After a moment he caved, slipping his phone under his desk again and reading his replies from Rose.

“Called that one”

“He’s really cute, after all”

“Totally your type”

“You have to figure out your boundaries and communicate them”

“You’re getting into some difficult territory”

“Anyway back to work for me”

“Good luck”

He frowned. “Thanks,” he texted in reply, setting his phone down and finally giving his attention to the lecture.

  
  
  


* * *

  


  
  
“Do you want to grab some dinner?”

Mikleo vacantly stared out the window as the trees sped by. “Nah. I just wanna get home.”

“I guess it’s still pretty early,” said Sorey. “We can grab something later.”

Mikleo fussed with his cell phone for a moment, then resumed staring out the window.

“Is everything alright?”

“Huh?”

“You’re really quiet today,” said Sorey.

“I’m a quiet person,” said Mikleo.

“Not with me,” said Sorey.

More silence.

“I’ve been thinking about this morning,” said Sorey.

“Me too,” said Mikleo quietly.

Sorey hummed. He pulled into the parking spot, turning off the car. Mikleo quietly exited, heading for the stairs of their apartment. He was surprised when Sorey cornered him at the entrance of the stairwell.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” said Sorey, leaning close.

Mikleo blushed, unsure how to react to Sorey pinning him against the stairwell. He glanced around for neighbors that might be watching.

“It’s just us,” said Sorey, lifting his fingers to Mikleo’s chin. Mikleo blinked slowly, dazed by Sorey’s soft contact, but confused by the intent.

Then Sorey leaned in for a kiss.

It was a much softer kiss than the mornings’, lips only slightly parted, not driven by desperate need or passion. A soft, gentle kiss that might be shared between lovers.

Which they were not.

Mikleo pushed away, shoving against Sorey’s chest.

“What the hell?” asked Mikleo.

Sorey stepped back with a confused look on his face. “I thought you were okay with kissing?”

“In the bedroom, Sorey, not out in the open like this.”

“Why, are you embarrassed of me?”

“No, I’m...-” Mikleo clutched his arm and turned away. “It’s not what we agreed on.”

“I don’t understand,” said Sorey. “You said you were okay with it, and that you were thinking about it too.”

“No, I was thinking about- You’re interpreting this all wrong.”

“I’m interpreting it all wrong?” asked Sorey. “Then maybe don't send me mixed signals.”

“Mixed signals?” Mikleo’s heart ached. “Me? Are you kidding me?”

“You can’t say one thing and mean another. How am I-”

“It’s not what we agreed on, Sorey. I said no.” Mikleo turned, balling his hands into fists. “Thanks for the ride home. I’m gonna take a walk. Don’t follow me.”

“Mikleo, hey, I’m sorry,” said Sorey.

“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for,” snapped Mikleo. “Just leave me alone.”

“What about dinner?” asked Sorey meekly.

“I’ll feed myself. I got by without you before you came along. I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t have to be so... arghh!” Sorey stormed up the stairs to the apartment.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Hours later, Mikleo returned. The door softly clicked behind him as he entered the apartment. Sorey sat up on the couch, setting aside the book he had been reading.

“Hey,” said Sorey softly.

Mikleo clutched his arm and looked away.

“Why did you do it?”

Sorey pursed his lips. “...Why'd I do what?”

“Why’d you have to kiss me like that?”

“Oh,” said Sorey.

“Answer me.”

“I...” Sorey winced. “I thought I had full access.”

“And that's all it was?” asked Mikleo. “In the name of pleasure?”

“Yeah,” said Sorey hesitantly.

“You... didn't mean anything else by it.”

“What else could I have-” Sorey froze. He furrowed his brow, wincing. “Oh geez, I'm an idiot.”

“Yeah. You are.”

Sorey flopped backwards on the couch and groaned.

“Nothing's changed, right?” asked Mikleo. “You're not-”

“I'm not gay,” blurted Sorey.

“You're not gay,” repeated Mikleo, as though he was trying to convince himself of those words.

“I just- kissing you this morning felt really good. And you told me I had full access. I thought it would be okay.”

Mikleo swallowed. Kissing did feel good; _natural -_ as though they had done it a hundred times before.

“Just tell me where the line is, and I promise not to cross it.” Sorey sounded earnest.

Mikleo sighed.

“I overreacted,” said Mikleo.

“No, I screwed up,” said Sorey. “Tell me how to fix it so I don't hurt you again.”

 _You could stop lying to both to us about your sexuality,_ thought Mikleo. _You could tell me you're not straight. You could tell me you had feelings for me, that you wanted to make this real._

Mikleo pursed his lips and pushed those feelings down, away where they could not hurt him for now.

“I just need to understand your intention,” he said. He took a deep breath and let his hands fall by his sides. “If we talk about it, there are no mixed signals.”

“So let's always talk about it. I don't ever want to see you hurt again.”

Mikleo winced a smile. How could Sorey be such an aggravating, perfect, thoughtful idiot?

“You're doing that quiet thing again,” said Sorey, sitting up. “Come here and tell me what's really on your mind.” He patted the empty seat beside him.

Mikleo shook his head as he obediently moved to the couch and sat by Sorey. Sorey leaned against him with a nudge, encouraging him to say what might have been on his mind.

“I just-” He buried his face in his hands. “This is all we are, right?”

“We're best friends,” said Sorey. “Friends who occasionally do other stuff with each other.”

“And that's all?” asked Mikleo, masking the disappointment in his voice.

“That's all,” confirmed Sorey.

“That's what I needed to hear,” said Mikleo, standing.

“Can I still kiss you sometimes?” asked Sorey in a tiny voice.

Mikleo huffed a small laugh.

“Sure. I'd like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm still working on this AU as well as the next chapter of Cadence. See you soon!


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